Dispatches from Outland
A little song. A little dance. A little seltzer down your pants. Copyright © 2003 Roy M. Jacobsen.

Thursday, April 17, 2003  

Easier Said Than Done Department: Orrin Judd has a short meditation on the meaning of this day:

Today is Maundy Thursday, the day on which Christians recall the mandatum that Jesus issued to his disciples at the Last Supper: This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. (John 15: 12).

A simple commandment. Impossible to obey fully. Go read what Orrin has to say.

And to those few of you who keep coming back to read my humble little blog, or to those of you who stumble upon it following random links or searching for stuff like "precision guided outland" or "good things about abortions," I hope you enjoy a blessed and deeply meaningful Easter weekend. I'll be back on Tuesday.

posted by Roy M. Jacobsen at 10:12 PM

He's Baaaack! Department: Jeffrey Collins, that is. Drop by and say "Hello!"

posted by Roy M. Jacobsen at 4:04 PM

Reasonable Demands Department: As part of the continuing effort to end "Cuomoism" in the Catholic Church, Sioux Falls' Bishop Robert Carlson has told Tom Daschle that he can no longer call himself a Catholic. ("Cuomoism" is defined as "the effort to finesse abortion by declaring oneself personally opposed but politically supportive of laws allowing abortion." There's a word I could get to liking!)

Put simply, the bishop is giving Daschle a choice: either be "morally coherent" and stop supporting abortion, or quit saying he's a Catholic. And Daschle has the dubious honor of joining California Governor Gray Davis in being publicly told off by a bishop. With any luck, he won't be the last.

posted by Roy M. Jacobsen at 3:54 PM

From The Inbox Department: Got this one from a co-worker:

A creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements:

1) religion
2) royalty
3) sex
4) suspense

The prize-winning essay read:

"My God," said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"

Get this person a tech writing gig, stat!

posted by Roy M. Jacobsen at 1:26 PM

Charm Is Deceitful Department: Valerie has some good observations on how the pornographication of our culture has debased us all in ways you might not think about.

Among the consequences: all female rock stars are now obliged to be beautiful, contributing to a dearth of quality female vocalists -- not because women can't sing, but because pørnøgraphic culture won't allow any but the most beautiful women to get on the stage. . . . (And don't for a second think that the so-called Christian music industry is immune from this.)
Go read it all.

posted by Roy M. Jacobsen at 9:55 AM

Oblivious To Irony Department: I was cruising through the local Walmart last night with my Better Half (TM), and in passing the ladies' undergarments department, noticed some rather diaphanous scraps of material bearing the brand name "Secrets." I started chuckling to myself, and my wife asked what was so funny. "The idea of calling something "Secrets" when it doesn't conceal any."

[Editor's note: This department, and the Words That Bug Me Department are likely to show up frequently, such is the state of our world. Submissions are welcome.]

posted by Roy M. Jacobsen at 9:05 AM

Monday, April 14, 2003  

Words That Bug Me Department: "Incent."

This one was from out U.S. Congressman, used as a verb. Just one little problem: There isn't any such freaking word as "incent!!!!"

I don't know about you, but while I can be incensed (quite often by blatant misuse of English), I most definitely can not be incented.

posted by Roy M. Jacobsen at 5:03 PM

Not The Onion Department: Move over, Jesse Ventura. Here comes The Great Sasuke!

posted by Roy M. Jacobsen at 2:21 PM
support outland!