Dispatches from Outland
A little song. A little dance. A little seltzer down your pants. Copyright © 2003 Roy M. Jacobsen.


Friday, March 14, 2003  

Revenge Is A Dish Best Served With Cold-cuts Department: Tomorrow is Eat an Animal for PETA Day.

If God didn't mean for us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?

posted by Roy M. Jacobsen at 8:37 AM
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Thursday, March 13, 2003  

Who Said It? Department: OK, boys and girls, it's time for a little game. I'll supply a quote, and you guess who said it.

"What if Saddam fails to comply and we fail to act, or we take some ambiguous third route which gives him yet more opportunities to develop this program of weapons of mass destruction? . . . Well, he will conclude that the international community has lost its will. He will then conclude that he can go right on and do more to rebuild an arsenal of devastating destruction. And someday, some way, I guarantee you he'll use the arsenal." Who said it?






Answer: Bill Clinton, in 1998.

"I think it's appropriate for the international community in situations like this to intervene. I am in favor of an intervention." Who said it?






Answer: Actor Mike Farrell, in 1999 (referring to the Clinton administration's war in Kosovo).

Quotes courtesy of John Fund.

posted by Roy M. Jacobsen at 9:57 AM
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Wednesday, March 12, 2003  

Absolutely Mind-Bogglingly Amazing Beyond Description Grace Department: You find some stunning stories following links here and there. This is one of them: courtesy of a Real Live Preacher, a story of grace that punches you in the gut and leaves you dazed. Posting an excerpt wouldn't do this justice. Just go read it already.

I understand what he meant about taking off his shoes.

posted by Roy M. Jacobsen at 4:35 PM
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Fortified With Irony Department: I don't have much to say about fashion designers, but this was absolutely brilliant:

Jean Paul Gaultier must have been tipped off that the anti-fur protesters were going to target his fashion show because he was certainly ready for them.

When the first one jumped onto the runway in Paris on Saturday he got a surprise. Two security guards immediately leapt aboard and wrapped him in a big fur coat, before dragging him off.


(Link via Dean Esmay.)

posted by Roy M. Jacobsen at 10:03 AM
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The Funny Pages Department: If you haven't discovered it yet, go check out Chris Muir's Day by Day strip. For some insights into Chris's mind, here's an interview (which includes several of the strips).

posted by Roy M. Jacobsen at 9:53 AM
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Nuvo Antiquities Department: Dispatches From Outland is one year old today! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!

Thanks to you, dear reader, for joining me.

We now return to your regularly scheduled blogging.

posted by Roy M. Jacobsen at 8:41 AM
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Tuesday, March 11, 2003  

Complaints Department: Orrin Judd says "Certain things in life you just aren't entitled to complain about," and provides a hilarious example of one of those things: Getting hit on the head by a flying sheep head at a concert by a "black metal" band known for throwing animal parts into the audience.

Orrin adds "I was once struck rather firmly by a thrown hat when the Lester Lannin Orchestra was playing and uttered not a peep." Good on you, Orrin. Take it like a man.

posted by Roy M. Jacobsen at 9:01 AM
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Monday, March 10, 2003  

Turn Of A Friendly Phrase Department: I love words, and the things you can do with them. Martin Roth provides us with a wonderful example of a well-turned phrase in the story of Michael Graham's visits to the San Quentin prison: "This is the Gospel right at the coalface."

I walk down, cell by cell. Sometimes prisoners are asleep. I’ll say nothing and walk to the next cell. Many of the prisoners stand at the bars, ready and willing to talk. Some call out, ?Come over here, sir?, and faithfully and earnestly engage in conversation, reaching for that God-shaped vacuum in their hearts to be filled. They really are a captive audience.

posted by Roy M. Jacobsen at 9:37 PM
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